Boredom

I know no ones going to read this, but I don't think it really matters.

I was just listening to a radio show about writing and the "Writer" said that it was a good idea to blog. So I will. I've always sort of wanted to write, but I never really got the hang of it. I can write for school, short stories, articles, not really essays, but the slightly creative stuff. It's A's and B's in that respect, but I've tried to write for "Leisure" and I can never get more that 2-3 paragraphs out before I end up losing all inspiration. I wonder why, I guess because of the lack of pressure.

I wonder if anything can be proved, apart from the fact that I'm pretty sure that I think I exist. I can not really prove that either, but if I couldn't than all thoughts to do with actual existence would be slightly hypocrytical. And how do I know that I actually am an independent entity, If I was, in fact, a puppet to some greater power, would it not suit their purposes best to fool me into thinking I was independant. And even so, would it make any difference. I wonder if permeations in the continuum (Yes, I know it's a cliche but it's actually a real thing.) can affect other supposed permeations. That would explain Feng-Shui or whatever. There's gravity, but that's a fairly standard area of influence. It would also be a scientific explanation for the joy I feel whenever I re-arrange my room. Actual joy is rare these days, it's mostly just moments of amusment or ironic apathy. Sometimes I feel joy, thats a bit of a nostalgic term isn't it, when I'm reading. It's rare, but that's one of the main reasons I read, you just become so engaged that a little chill goes through your body and you just feel plain happy. This is a bit like that stupid English log, but much more interesting.

I can't decide whether I want to drop Physics or Chemistry,or neither. I know I'll drop Ext. English, It's good, but not that good. I think it'll be Physics, but I do want to do Quantum. I don't really see people anymore these days. Not really, I just run in to them on my way from lonely place to lonely place. I like that Eragon quote "We always die alone, no-one can follow us into the void.", very true. I want more interesting radio, this is just boring. I wish I could speak more eloquently, I'm a terrible speaker. People, as John would say, are idiots. No offence to any individuals out there, your probably all interesting, intelligent people, but we're such idiots as a species. I can't imagine how much we've corrupted God's image, no offence to God, but it's hard to imagine how something so perfect could turn into this bunch of raving lunatics. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that we are a group. Maybe if we all went and lived on our own planet we would stop being so selfish and destructive. I think that therein lies the problem with communism. I'm a big fan of communism, as a theory. If it worked, it would fix a lot of problems wih our society. But it will never work, mostly because we're sinful. I wonder if there's any sin which does not revolve around selfishness, because I can't think of any.

I want to go somewhere were there is noone else, not for ever, maybe just for a few years, but I think it would be interesting. I'd probably write a bit more, hopefully I'd exercise, maybe learn how to cook. I'd definetly want to bring an instrument, maybe two or three, learn how to play saxaphone, obeo, contrabase, drums, guitar maybe. The whole "Stuck on an Island" thing is a bit old, but it doesn't have to be an island. Maybe a forest or a desert. Though an island would be best. Maybe I could have a boat, a fairly big one, and just stop at ports about twice a year for supplies. just drift around on the ocean for a while.

Night.